the analyst

a kitchen ..somewhat of a well ordered hovel ..a short spry young man fries tofu in a small pan on an ancient gas stove ..arranging the pieces into a quincunx after methodically turning them in exactly the same way ..a small television on a bench is silently showing cartoons ..the colour tint all wrong ..he is talking to himself ..as well as uttering directions into a full length mirror ..his suit is a little large for his small frame ..and a decade out of fashion ..he approaches the mirror peering disdainly over his wire frame glasses

” extreme close up ..whatcha got there honey! ..hhmmm ..did you write this? ..[aggressively] ..did you write this? ..huh ..huh! ..swishpan ..oh there’s a problem all right ..who do I think I am? ..huh ..well I do this for a living  ..fool  ..yeah  ..yeah  ..I did a ten week course sister ..cost me nine hundred bucks  ..yeah ..yeah ..do you know how much they pay me to do this shit?  ..huh ..seventy bucks a script ..shazam! ..and another one bites the dust! ..yeah baby ..from page to screen I can knock off three a day ..I am the gatekeeper kapiche ..matchcut ..from laptop to cowboyshot ..[quickdraws a yo-yo]   ..longshot”

[walking the dog as he moonwalks back to the stove] ..he carries the pan over to the table and loads the tofu next to the salad on his plate ..he spends quite some time arranging the food to his satisfaction ..then after taking his ADHD medication ..he commences to eat

[calmy] “..white space ..see ..white space ..you got too much goin’ on here ..look at this ..[holding up a napkin] ..there’s way too much text here ..look honey ..I got a short attention span ..all these words are makin me claustrophobic see  ..you’re defying the architechtonics of our template ..you’re pressin’ buttons I didn’t even know I had ..them studio execs ..they all got the same buttons as me ..get it ..thats how come I got this gig ..understand me ..and you understand them ..whats my gig? ..[evil laughter] ..whats my gig? ..martini shot!  ..contrazoom! ..[thousand yard stare] ..I’m a story analyst ..”

Holiday

Holiday

flying ..it only seems real when I’m sitting in the cockpit ..we’re in first class so I don’t really care ..getting it all down for posterity on my handycam ..oblivious to the cascade of conversations swirling around me
..our group has won a 10 day snowboarding holiday ..courtesy of some wacked out cable TV show ..I’m gettin’ used to the tripped out hand that life deals to people like me ever since I took over the Freak Outreach Center after ‘Louie the flame’ had his burnout ..I’m not a health professional or anything like that ..only have a diploma of applied paragnosis ..I do it for the laughs really -besides some patients are just too funny to cure ..our motto is ‘deviance is the new normal’ ..and to tell the truth I feel quite at home with these folks now ..we only use nicknames -given like a badge of honour if you somehow manage to fit in
..Golden ears is our resident ecouteurist -never been the same since that time he disguised himself as a tree to spy on some feral wiccans in the wild …some of them turned out to be dendrophiles ..on his left is Houdini ..yeah the one looking over his shoulder ..with a smile on his face ..can’t hold down a steady job or relationship ..just can’t commit ..-phygephilia ..that couple over there ..Heckle and Jeckle ..touchy and insensitive ..she’s often really crass and arrogant and sometimes he’s just a nasty bitch ..gender dysphoria ..over there is Cyrano ..he’s into erotographomania as well as erotomania ..the first thing he ever said to me was ‘don’t look at me ..I’m hideous’ ..the hottie by the window is Messalina ..one of a kind ..she’s into zelophilia as well as dacrophilia ..not to mention timophilia … on my left is Coochie Coo ..she has a thing for knismolagnia ..what can I say ..she’s lotsa fun and makes me laugh ..across the aisle over there is Manga ..yeah you guessed it ..oculophilia ..and beside him is the very mystical Madame Blavatsky ..she likes dreamin’ and …well …psycholagny actually ..on her left is Hollywood ..yeah -with the tinfoil beret ..the life of the party ..got a little thing goin’ on with castophrenia ..but we won’t hold that against him ..well thats it for now ..can’t really say too much on the fly like this ..besides one can’t afford to be too equivocal ’round these sorta folks ..

Glossary

castophrenia: belief that ones thoughts are being stolen

dacrophilia: arousal from crying

dendrophilia: arousal from trees or tree worship

ecouteurism: arousal from eavesdropping sexual activities

erotographomania: arousal from writing love letters or poems

erotomania: arousal from an uninterested person or stranger

gender dysphoria: behaviour matching the opposite sex

knismolagnia: sexual arousal or gratification from tickling or being tickled

oculophilia: arousal from eyes

paragnosis: skill in matters immune to scientific investigation

phygephilia: arousal from being a fugitive

psycholagny: ability to achieve orgasm without physical stimulus

timophilia: arousal from money or wealth

zelophilia: arousal from jealousy

©Gregory Andrews 2009

you have the right to remain silent

[detective]   ‘you have the right to remain silent ..anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law ..you have the right to an attorney present during questioning ..if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for you  ..do you understand these rights?’

[suspect] ‘well shit detective ..how much thought have you given them?’

[detective] ‘looks like we got a wise guy here ..I’d advise you not to get to cute ..understand?’

[suspect] ..just get me my attorney and we’ll do lunch ..big guy’

[40 minutes later he is joined by his attorney and the interview proceeds]

[suspect] ‘mind if I take notes?’ [ writing something on the first page of his notepad]

[detective] ‘I’d like to ask you some questions regarding your activities last night’

[suspect] ‘I may respond to some of your questions’ [..in a concilliatory tone]

[detective] ‘look this is a slam dunk ..we’ve got you at the scene of the crime ..we got the murder weapon ..why’d ya do it?’

[suspect] ‘you’ve asked me a direct question ..naturally you’re expecting a response but if I remained silent it wouldn’t be very pretty ..this is the politicization of silence ..if I don’t respond instantly it is taken to be an admission of guilt as a lack of denial ..in fact it would be even worse if I actually denied it later ..a non-adjacent denial ..not the preferred response ..its a basic little rule of conversation analysis ..all conversations have been found to be made up of little rules ..it involves the concept of turns otherwise known as adjacency pair structures  ..your initiation of it is called the first pair part ..my response or turn ..would be known as the second pair part   ..your strategy seeks to turn an act of voluntary co-operation into involuntary compliance ..good luck with that’

[detective] ‘you’re a pretty sharp dude ..evading my questions ..seems suspicious ..got something to hide?’

[suspect] [writing something on the second page of his notepad] ‘well ..you are paid to be vexatious with you’re reasoning..arent you?..just like a lawyer [winking at his lawyer] ..in my case ..its all for free’ [smiling]

[detective] ‘we know you’ve been harassing his informants ‘

[suspect] ‘look ..if I asked you a question ..you’d only play ball insofar as your second pair part was only some kind of clarifying response ..otherwise ..you’d fail to offer an adjacent response ..now.. you’re  misinterpreting  something I did or said or didn’t say ..in fact you’ve been trained to ..the preferred response here is for me to ‘let it go’ ..yet if I wish to clarify it at any later stage not only does it look worse ..sorta like I’m changing my story..it also falls outside the framework of your rule-set ..meaning you’re likely to respond with a disjunctive shift’

[detective] ‘you think this is some kind of a game ..a fucking joke ..smartass?’

[suspect] [holding up the first note taken earlier ..it reads 'you think this is some kind of a joke?']

[detective] ‘you just don’t give a fuck do ya [leaning in close ..menacingly] ..listen professor ..I ain’t got time for this ..I got a dead undercover cop ..a family of seven that needs some answers ..and a bunch of cops out there ready to play hardball ..understand?’

[suspect] [holds up the second page ..it reads 'this is where you probably make some sort of sarcastic ad hominem ..possibly even insinuating a lack of basic humanity ..possibly even a thinly veiled threat' ..he screws up both pages into a tight little bundle and tosses them into the waste basket] ‘..you might want to get the fingerprints off that ..are we done here?’ [looking at his attorney]

[attorney] [on their way out] ‘you don’t like cops much ..do you?’ [a half smile]

[suspect] ‘I don’t have a problem with cops ..just some of their rule-sets’

Garuda

bless you Garuda
for you were ever my only true friend
no-else comes screaming after I go
no-one else knows what I know
thou art no desert lie
thou art no foreign sky
thou art feathered to rise above
the poison of these doves
and I loved nonsuch as I loved you
..so brutal …so true

never a tear

for those of us from here

D.O.A.

it was wrong…
…all so very wrong
inexplicably agitated ..unsettled
his scopic drive… subverted
oversaturated by red shifts
looking for something
…somehow not there
no longer a spectator
..yet somehow not an actor
no more superfluous jouissance in the mirror
a very real feeling of destiny
transformed into a looked at being
revisited by lost involvement
weak from ennui
he could take it no more
barely able to walk
he stumbles down dark streets of despair
faltering ..falling
seeking the expertise of only one man

…the masterful Dr Lacan

incredibly …against all pleasure
he finds him in his shabby clinic
begging him to run some tests
a specialist in metynomy
he is obliged to acquiesce

..he waits
not daring to hope
anxiety in his shallow breath

Dr Lacan returns
it is not good
.. he seems grim
surprised

“how bad is it …doc?”
suddenly so pale

“its liminal poisoning “
such sympathy in his voice

“give it to me straight ..doc ..how long have I got?”

young Perninni steals the show

Meet the Strangels

“all your figures are so beautiful.. innocent.. child-like.. you are a fine sculptor.. quite prodigious.. I hope I live till you are older..I want to see you finish some less divine examples of humanity.. someting with a bit more ooomph..rather faces that tell stories than fairy tails that tell faces”
the lad seemed to take it so well..inside he was furious… after begging leave of his master and patron.. he consoled himself in the arms of his sweetheart..
“everything I do.. I do old school ..that old prick uses the latest Holo-paint programs..with the kind of composite analysis wizards that tell you when the ears are too low.. or the elbows too long.. I’m gonna make my next ones outta real stuff.. using my bare fucking hands.. and little pointy sticks n’shit noamsayin?… when we have our next exhibition he’s gonna look like a fucking relic…”
and so it came to pass..some months later..the exhibition opened to uncertain acclaim and certain controversy ..the old masters holograms were always recieved with sentimental attention.. and this time he’d outdone himself with the sorriest collection of knaves and felons a millionare had ever studied.. and yet the public swarmed about the boys work.. ten small figurines.. made to look like dolls.. highlighted with groovy packaging and everything.. when the master found him he persuaded the boy to guide him through the works..
“I call them Strangels..this first one here is Equonon.. he’s the strangel of karmic disparity.. otherwise known as the anathema of philosophy.. with wings of stained glass.. an ’80’s style jet pilots helmet.. skate shorts.. black tee ..sandals and knee high white socks.. his fetish is infidelity ..ever wondered if anything goes on in there beyond the strange telemetry of skepticism?”
“this little lady is named Ashkura.. her fetish is pathomimesis.. loves to pretend she’s drowning in the pool.. very sexy ..she’s the strangel of dysfunctional innocence.. or rather -the anathema of psychology ..she has wings of velvet plushie ..translucent lingerie.. cats ears in her hair.. golf shoes..”
“here we have Faerasus..the strangel of critical misperception.. and the anathema of real politik ..his fetish is uncertainty .. or is it certainty.. wings of elastic.. camo fatigue pants..leather jacket.. moccasins..goatee..orange goggles.. an actual beret ..and look ..he’s carrying a kitten”
“cute as a button is Sothearus -strangel of gestalt exploitation or .. taran tara ..the anathema of sociology.. wings of Teflon.. oversize head.. large outsize eyes.. looks like a small child..but she’s ageless you know ..grey smear of a badly drawn smile.. reminiscent of the crow or the joker ..more of a seagull really.. carries a scarecrow plushie.. she’s hot for idiots “
“Esotaluna.. the strangel of wandering fixation ..the anathema of the dance -carousels get this one going .. wings of moodstone.. gold lycra micro-shorts ..topless apart from a pair of x’s taped over her nipples.. 8 inch heels when not wearing tap shoes.. elbow length black silk gloves ..carrying a water pistol of some kind ..perhaps a super soaker”
“Primapriori ..the inimitable strangel of divine inelegance ..anathema of consciousness.. she’s into massage ..wings of lava lamps ..neat huh.. hiking shoes.. psychadelic stripped leggings.. oversize turtleneck sweater.. dreadlocks.. carrying a butterfly net ..naturally”
“Next is sweet Neoteneo.. modelled on my girlfriend ..she’s into sundials ..not my girlfriend .. I mean.. wings of sharkskin..pink vinyl lederhosen ..would that be vinylhosen ..umm..white stockings.. pirate shirt.. snowboots.. greek fishermans hat in red velvet ..carrying candy cane ..she’s the strangel of ridiculous satori ..inevitably.. the anathema of art ..”
“Now this one was quite a challenge ..took forever to get her feet right ..Laersophrossi ..the strangel of ornamental wisdom ..also known as the anathema of music ..really into gadgets ..wings of fimo.. tie-die singlet.. loincloth.. combat boots.. carries a microphone”
“and so to Hypheulus.. anathema of history ..strangel of cosmic contempt ..his fetish is.. the last word ..wings of velcro ..baggy trousers ..tangerine hoody.. size ‘F’ clown shoes.. carries a backpack for his wings when his self loathing gets the better of him”
“finally we come to Cosimadeus ..matchless strangel of anthrocentric projection ..really an odd sort of fellow ..anathema of anthropology and all that ..deeply into vibrations ..knee length denim cut-offs ..gumboots ..rodeo shirt.. carrying a pichfork ..oh.. wings of knapped obsidian ..you know like those stone age arrow-heads ..oh I really liked your pieces by the way ..such a visceral appeal ..nothing sensualist at all about them ..bravo master ..bravo “

the art of archery

he can be seen stalking the waterfall
a stranger that thinks you know him
he makes no effort to silence his footfalls
he is savouring the moment as he draws near
his long shadow reveals his weapon
now he is upon you
as you are tethered in trance
meditating
just as his shadow smiles
something shines in the sunlight
an angel poised to dive
somewhat silvered
first here
now there
tugging at his shadow
wet with ribbons of blood
an arrow in his neck
he kneels before you
speechless in loss
a darkness taking him further
into the arms of death
when you open your eyes
rising to go
wondering where the blood came from
knowing you’ll never know

true enough

‘yer doin’ it right kid..inna cupla years Granma’ll let ya start firin’ the 410′..young Angus is all like..cool..then..’whats a 410 Grandpa?’..as he..pretty expertly for a young’n..fitted the bolt back into his Parker-Hale..Granpa quickdraws an odd looking shotgun from his full length Dryazabone..’I calls this baby my sawn off solicitor..its just a scaled down shotty..with the right shells..it can still waste just about anything in close quarters’..Granma has returned from the garden..busying herself at the woodstove..-or the range..as she called it..slipping on his gloves like a surgeon..then putting on his black balaclava..already on his way out..saying to Granma..’just off down the bank love’..as he sits down to eat..Granma tells Angus that he’s now allowed to go dingo trapping with Uncle Bill..he’s so surprised..so pleased..wolfing down his food he’s out the door ..running across the pastures to Bills little shack near the fence line yelling..   ..’Bill..Bill..Granma sez I can go trappin with ya!’..breathless he’s there..to see old Bill smiling quietly ..always his way..the politest man he was ever going to know well ..tho’ he didn’t yet know it..’feel like carrying me gun then, Angus’ ..it wasn’t a question..’aaw can I?’..is his hasty reply..Bill gathers up his traps with their long chains and substantial stakes..draping them over his elderly shoulders..passing over his Merkel to young Angus ..Bill always carried side by side 12 gauge shotties..but this one was special..it was ornately worked with very fine engravings that Angus fancied were scrolling off the metalwork onto his hands as he handled it..communing with this beautiful weapon..they set off across the fields and meadows of his Granpa’s farm..till at last they come to the tree line where Bill last tracked some Dingo’s..the dog had pulled up the trap and its path through the underbrush was easily visible as Bill always attached a 4 or 5 foot branch to the chain as a sort of a drag ..’Wait here..will you Angus’..signaling for him to pass him the Merkel ..as he limped off ..lamed from an old legacy of a hunting mishap years ago..young Angus wondered again why they were doing this ..the oldies were saying stuff like..’they run down pregnant cattle causing them to drop the calf which they happily eat’..he’d never seen it before..in fact it wasn’t until some almost 40 years later that reports of Dingo attacks  ..especially on children ..were becomingcommonplace ..especially at Fraser Island..well after the Lindy Chamberlain affair ..looking back on it all..years later..he realised that those oldies were quite wise ..the family farm was often seething with small children ..disappearing off into the bush unsupervised ..the upshot of all that trapping saw the Dingo’s adjusting and never setting foot on his Granpa’s farm again ..suddenly young Angus hears a shot and then Bill calling out  ..’allright then..come on over’..it wasn’t hard to find him ..standing there next to a dead dingo..some 5-6 feet long from tail to nose..’look at this’ Bill gestures to a nearby stringy bark tree ..recently scorched black from a bushfire..it had been ringbarked ..stripped down to the red raw bark 4 inches or so wide and an inch or more deep..’she must have been in that much pain..she set upon the tree’ ..nothing was said for ages..it struck young Angus there and then as being almost mythical in proportions..and still does to this day

Spinal Draft

Spinal Draft
An elite team of crack scriptwriters are selected to beta test some 7th generation scriptwriting software in a reality TV contest filmed at a luxurious eco-resort in Oz..a Russian military satellite has crashed nearby..leaking stem cells into the environment..Koala’s mutate into crazed vampire like beings that drop from the tree’s with a taste for human spinal fluid..plot points ramped up to..eleven.

Goodness Thief
A holy man is welcomed into a busy country town..people begin to change as they become familiar with his ways..until it seems they are being sapped of all their goodness and mercy..they turn on him and martyr him in the belief that they will be restored to their former selves

The Embarrassment
Creative and healthy …capable and talented..Joost is the constant victim of the wrath of envy..doomed to be endlessly *cured* by sick people..just to make them feel better.

ace of shamrocks

a diminutive merry fellow….always smoking a pipe
fond of rainbows..riverrunning..and journalists
an accomplished fiddle player
his smiling eyes are his hidden assets
..bushy eyebrows
dedicated his life to inspirational mischief
drinks stout from a pot of gold
never leaves home without his knobby little club
tho’ a wordy fellow with a sharp tongue..he is sentimental at heart
his patented magic dancing shoes have made him fabulously rich
he has a habit of wandering off when no-ones looking
always ornately dressed -matching buckles on his shoes belt and hat
fancy buttons on his green velvet coat
he always wears green..even has a suit of shamrocks
…lost the ace sometime back in the ’80’s
listens to Gilbert O’sullivan

Poetic licence

A country manor…a harpsichord is playing…diverse small birds flit about a great hall..wine is being served…an artist is sketching some actors ..others pace about practicing their lines..dwarfs on stilts tilt at each other, rehearsing pratfalls, several poets are swapping couplets while a beautiful woman cradles her lover on a lounge..over near the lovers a fool plays the lute…eyes full of tears…softly whimpering as they neck like swans..the lover raises his head from her shoulder for a moment to say…

[Darkertower]

…be generous boy

…my love has lost track of my style
searches with sparkles strung trembling by smile
all composure outwritten by a prettier quill
and still…
…it’s all there

the luckiest look to see in her eyes
for just a moment more
breathing kisses to adore
a mouthful of rapport
…willowed in affections

I fear

…have me fainting here

his lipstick smeared face is again smothered in murmuring kisses as the boy plays on…until their pleasures are interrupted by an exuberant bard who gathers them all together to speak

[Spillforth]

I have just madly dashed by coach from Hushminster to bring you the best of news in the greatest haste..Prince Rufus has issued us with his royal licence…

[he commences to read an from an elaborately penned document]

Rufus I… by earthly graces and natural dominion etcetera… To all our ministers, Mayors, Constables and other of our officers of might or motion ..loving subjects. Know ye that we of our facility fond and worthy, exceptional humilities and mere merit, have licenced and authorized and by these flourishes do license and endow these our subjects; William Spillforth, Gregorio Darkertower, Bunter Toffin, Simon Pond, Kit Marley, Orlando D’angelillio, Winston Weston, Amadeus Strange, Chesterfield Defoe, Scarlett Hepburn, Constance Chatterley, Fanny Swift, Miriam Columbine and all others associated with their labors, freely to study, teach, practice, produce, perform and compose; comedies, histories, harlequinnades, grotesques, tragedies, masques, mysteries, pranks, shenanigans, foolery, japes, romances, bungles and pratfalls to shew or otherwise exhibit, to the utmost of their considerable talents, imagination, learning, wisdom, flair and finesse within a purpose built house henceforth known as Darling House and to be funded from the public purse..as also in setting forth about the ale-houses, taverns, inns or any other convenient places such as town halls, universities or cathedrals within the liberties of our free dominion and having our special dispensation of theatrical immunity so that they may refine their art with clear conscience…..witnessed ourself at Hushminster…this 23rd day of May…

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

looking up Goethe

In the round
While traveling abroad a sculptor discovers a 400 year old oil painting in an obscure provincial gallery to be identical to a bozetto he is currently working on.

The gatekeepers
A community of spirits that failed to accept their ‘inner child’ haunt an enchanted dream bridge they are unable to cross..

Fatima falls in love
A pedophile cardinal converts to Islam only to discover his secret online arabian boy lover is in fact an al queda agent named Fatima.

Sikh cooking
After decades of fruitless searching an archeologist finally unearths the fabled glass onion..said to reveal all the world in its transparency.

The little people
Anxious to exhibit to his foreign counterparts his Machiavellian decisiveness a ruthless statesman boasts that his psy-ops people  will ‘turn’ a well known atheist  dissident into  a devout Muslim…

the exile

It is a place of utter neglect…a shabby trailer bristling with aerials moored alongside a rambling shanty part consumed by ivy…a half dozen lazy cats lolling about on discarded car tyres…numerous car wrecks litter the yard…ham radio traffic from inside the van peppers the silence between passing trains..a chopper lands..a group of smartly dressed people hit the ground running..while numerous bodyguards stalk the grounds..two men and a woman gather at the trailer ..rapping on the door…the radio is silenced…no response..

Lenny: c’mon …you know its us

Luciano: I don’t know you ..you’re dead to me

Pete: I gotcha a cappriciosa from Farferello’s

Luciano: slide it through the catflap ..

[all six cats then sprint through the catflap]

Julie: Arty says hi…

Lenny: c’mon.. open up buddy…we’re still from the same streets..we went to freakin school together..

Luciano: Julie could you tell Lenny that those days are over and that he should just move on?

Julie: how could you Lenny? [stifling a laugh]

Pete: Lurlene’s still asking after you..

Luciano’s face suddenly appears at the screen…..he is unkempt…eating pizza..cats meowing vociferously

Luciano: she still doin’ that navy pantomime?

Pete: uhuh…yeah

Julie watches impassively as a bodyguard is pursued by an amorous goat

Luciano: I always liked that girl

Lenny: c’mon Luciano…c’mon in from the cold man…we need you ….finish the script..show me you’re better than that..bygones dude

Luciano: you hurt me man …you hurt me really bad

Lenny: hey… you hurt me too …you didn’t consult me … I’m not just a businessman

Luciano: yeah …well look who bounced back..

Lenny: I haven’t forgotten a thing man…everything…its all still up here..you remember them days when we were like 13…we’d cut Wednesday afternoon sports to hang out up on the hill..at the old town reservoir..we’d lay there sunning ourselves in our shorts after a swim..sharing a smoke..looking at the clouds..laughing at all the schmucks back at school..sharing our dreams..do ya still dream, Lucky…huh..do ya? [wiping at real tears]

Luciano: I dreamed that friends don’t leave each other behind..Lenny..it was just a dream..and Lenny ..try it from here…[tapping his heart]

Lenny: c’mon Luciano…I’m like a junky here…you’re my pusher man..I’m addicted…no-one writes the gags like you do..just a skit…huh? I’m beggin you. Just a skit…

Luciano: if I do this thing for you.. Lenny.. you promise me ..no-one will ever know?

Lenny: aaw …hey …forgeddabardit…

Luciano: you come back next week… I’ll finish it.. now..geddoutta here … your breakin me up

Clipping into their seats as the chopper ascends they all look very pleased with themselves

Julie: nicely done Lenny

Pete: you think he knows about the residuals

Lenny: what residuals would they be Pete? …[laughing]

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

splash

The movie Gothic fairly intrigued me when I saw it in my early 20’s ..principally as a poet who had just read Don Juan..also due to the eccentricities of Polidori..who happened to be so uncannily like some of the ’special’ folks I was sharing digs with at the time that I was quite astounded and became suspicious that  certain pathologies were more ubiquitous than I’d assumed..over time I learned that those who present as dedicated to change..often never did or do..or that the change was merely a ceremonial lapse of self..a rite of passage only to come full circle..of those that do..not enough can be said of them..-this tho’..not being the place..how a ceremonial lapse of self can lead to real change seemed mysterious to me..as most examples I’d encountered really only signified shallow transformations..

I became interested then..in the notion of deep ceremonial transformation ..especially as a writer  who preferred his characters to be unique as well as convincing..it seemed especially necessary at that particular point as I found only a few people to be actually convincing in real life anyway..so I developed a personal science of prototyping fictitious identities by means of immersion..[ nothing to do with sensory deprivation or waterboarding ]..this involves expert research..real experience ..keen observation..a perceptual rather than judgmental mindset..and so on..one becomes keenly aware of complex factors never seriously noticed before..oscillating capacities of self..-their ability to see themselves clearly or coherently ..perceiving their own behaviors with varying acuity etcetera…

Interestingly enough..at 44 I no longer have a high regard for the works of Byron..

On consignment

Clueless drags himself into the diner at about 4.20 am..Lurlene pours him a cup..handing it to him..just giggling..’you don’t wanna know’   giving her that look..she’s already serving a spacetrucker  ..anyhow.. he takes a window booth..no-one gets tired of watching the nearby pulsar..Clueless sat there fidgeting ..trying to grasp some elusive train of thought or something..whispering into his player every now and then..’can’t believe my luck..I got a consignment of robots  ..one of them was some kind of hinky AI..it just sat there sulking like an unwanted marionette..just facial expressions and lots of eyework..I shut it down and ran a full diagnostic on its bioware  ..nothing..so I check the software ..almost totally reprogrammed  ..250000 thousand new words in its vocab..some kind of word association/ ident crapplet running the most demented set of personality configuration plugins I’ve ever seen ..most still enabled and in conflict with each other..it appears to have re-written its own programming and circumvented its data protection systems by wireless..after restoring the system..I asked the little guy ..no longer an AI..what he’d been doing to himself..he just gave me an idiot grin and said..’acting’.. but thats not all he’d been doing..he was working on a play’..[he reads from a scrap of paper]…

Bauhaus Masterscene: No more.
” It is twilight..drapes are fluttering pennant like..revealing another glorious sunset..marbling over the polished wooden floor.. martinis sit chilling on steel and glass.. Leonora is liberally spreading pate on ciabatta.. Juan turns to her..saying callously…’oooh Leonora ..I can’t believe you went for corduroy on this lounge’..there is the startled shock in Leonora’s eyes ..the coldest of pauses.. the clatter of that knife on the floor…a flurry of sobbing footsteps..the slamming of a door.”

‘does he mind being taken back..no..sometimes tho’..I kinda get this feeling he’s scamming me’..

flowers for the game

a most interesting character..soo obstinate in some ways..so easygoing in all others..an atheist mystic of all things.. once..while we were making our way through busy afternoon streets..we were accosted by a group of evangelists..he shouted at them.. ‘get thee hence false prophets..I do not venerate the works of man..the victim thinks about God’..and he strode off.. fuming..-I had  to quite hoof it to catch up with the chap..he has no time for politics either..best summed up in his own words..’I know  you’re not up with the very latest developments in philosophy..so to give you a lil’ heads up..a code of ethics is not something that requires decryption’..he spoke further on his existential outlook by describing himself as a rogue ethologist living amongst a virtual community of artificial beings  ..playing a theatrical game he called Schizethica..one of the special characteristics of Schizethica is a free market approach to identity and intellectual property..yet no character is permitted to refer or otherwise allude to any other characters ’schiznicity

‘..that is to say.. those things that they may project as.. or ..believe to be ..constituting their substance.. usually assertions of ..race ..politics ..religion ..psychology ..philosophy ..intelligence or integrity

..Due to the implicit dynamic.. all of the players simultaneously find themselves at the lowest points of their character arcs..its also a world that is frequently hacked..complete with a rampant trojan that amplifies suspicion into hatred..hatred into obsession..until the game itself retaliates..

Sad Cologne on a rainy day

One of only two works in the public collection by the little known Artist Mausengeist who embedded elements of self portraiture into landscape works…a sprawling canvas in brooding greys and sultry silvers… currently in the Gothenhoffer…his only other cityscape is fused with considered washes of coral and gold -Cologne again …naturally

Gotholalia

in honour of his new flaxen haired wife Brunhilde.. Percival Fletcher named their first son..born on a moonvexed Friday eve..Tor..and so he became known about the county..after learning every detail of the family stock in trade..the young man grew into an audacious fellow ..surpassing even his father in craft..and learning more on his own account so that soon his wares were sought even from abroad..if a man can be defined by his friends we can define Tor Fletcher as being somehow careless and suspicious ..calculating and candid..his best friend Slickwit ..a heavy drinker..a dandy and a dilettante ..a heavy set small man Tor appears younger looking than he is possibly due to the fastidious grooming of the same feted flaxen locks his mother generously bestowed upon him.. quick to vent an always under the surface spleen or burst out into laughter he is mostly considered an engaging fellow..he is sometimes want to spout strange words in a made up foreign language which his local priest refers to as Gotholalia ..despite his best efforts to expunge certain bawdy ballads of his supposed trysts with ladies above his station he seems destined to fail and doesn’t seem to mind ..always keeps abreast of the latest verse ..an excellent swordsman having three times being called to account for his dalliances..none surviving his skill..all about his business he has numerous workshops where the finest arrowheads and bolts are crafted..some would even say..jewelled..his laminated bows are finished with exquisite detail..intricately engraved..a far superior range ..naturally anyone who was anyone wanted a Tor bow…

Talent scout

well known and highly regarded by everyone in the business.. he is engaging and warm.. believes in impartial integrity and takes care not to say anything that may be politicized.. often refusing to take sides on anything at all.. an easy smile and an unassuming nature he is always immaculately dressed.. likes home cooked food.. fast cars.. diplomatically adroit and always seems to know what to say when that unexpected complication arises.. in his mid 50’s he has old school charm and quite a way with the ladies.. uses transparent vocabulary to impress a point.. capable of swiftly enabling a group to express what it had apparently been thinking/feeling all along.. only resorts to his considerable personal charisma when moved by acts of greatness.. utterly mystified by his own true nature.. ever vigilant for public opportunities of self reproach or random acts of kindness.. still flicks at a no longer extant fringe from time to time.. once implicated in a counterfeiting racket he became the star witness for a prosecution shakedown of the mob and was whisked away to a new life by the witness protection program and was expertly tutored for his new role as talent scout for a major recording label.. he fit right in

Constance

pretty much keeps to herself.. sings in a band.. works in a surf shop.. 20 or so.. studies art at University.. on her desktop one of her sketches depicts a pair of adolescent angels.. a boy and a girl.. knives drawn circling each other in a cloud.. lives on a property owned by a friend of her Moms.. has her studio in a tepee.. a dancer since she was a child she is very graceful.. a tall platinum blond with numerous dreads.. she is very attractive.. guys find her adorable and intimidating ..she reads science journals.. likes whole food.. graphic novels and revenge thrillers.. everything she wears is some kind of a statement.. she often dresses almost ceremoniously.. tends to avoid too much direct eye contact as her eyes are devastatingly beautiful and can easily add too much emphasis.. kind of half seriously learning to play guitar.. likes protest music.. once sabotaged a bulldozer in a rainforest.. very polite and well spoken.. often smiling as if keeping a little secret.. very self contained posture.. desperately wants to fall deeply in love although dislikes most guys she meets.. sees herself as gifted enough to challenge mainstream expectations with her work.. secretly reads Vogue

Zombiethustra

This guy loves flowing cloaks, dark cloth, to be wrapt in gloom cosseted in misery, for him, every night..is a dark night of the soul for he completely lacks phenomenal consciousness, he knows his existence may be possible because it is conceivable ..and learnt this from his zombie intuition ..works as a property developer..has a hunch that the interior world is an elaborate illusion which he refers to as the zombie-matrix..shares his deepest secrets with his sleep therapist Really large eyes..thousand yard stares..he thinks with them and they often give what little there is..away.. a general stiffness in his cadence when he walks..can lurch from side to side when at speed..has difficulty running..not good with children..often recites Poe..has nightmares when anomalous elements of consciousness manifest.. he is sensitive enough to experience guilt/shame even when it is not due

..loves cats..a dedicated worker..keeps a tidy home..loves his wife Scyllastein very much ..he’s quite tall..very pale..and under that cloak he always appears to be wearing his best suit ..has lately taken to wearing inscrutably dark sunglasses..cannot remember his own birthday ..appears to be in his late thirties..tho’ he knows some seriously famous people he never mentions them..his usually expressionless face can sometimes reveal confusion or wonder    ..listens to trance..a regular visitor to the Drudge Report..also reads the Guardian
a keen interest in the trivial and the bizarre he is quite the allocentric
..believes in the dynamic emergence of total phenomenal unity..

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

The writer and the actor

Quite a stir ensued upon his arrival. Everyone recognised him as he was shown to the exclusive balcony setting, where an older fellow looked up from a menu. Having concluded formalities the older man, smiling..asks ’so..you’d like to know more about your part’ ..the actor smiles ‘everything is fine insofar as character arc and transformation within the script is concerned ..but I really want to nail this role…and I thought if I could get to the source…that is the author of the work the screenplay was adapted from..I might learn more about who he was when his adventure begins’ …he places a recorder on the table…

The writer grins, nodding sagely, his eyes closed …’well…he has a lot of intellectual arrogance..his parents were academics..in his case that meant distant and eccentric..sees himself as special and enlightened on account of it..he was left alone to his own devices as a child ..subsequently was often deemed to be too intense or even too mature by other children when he tried to make friends.. he later sought solace in this..and endeavoured to cultivate his intensities..he can be quite quirky…but never talks to himself..which is sort of why his work never amounts to much…he grows more and more accustomed to seeing himself as some sort of dark horse..or force of atonement.. he frequently attracts women..yet rarely scores because he usually wierds them out..or pisses them off’..the actor is chuckling now, saying ‘excellent …this is exactly what I need’…the writer goes on ‘ he makes a fair bit as a mid-level geek..and manages to save quite a bit..being as frugal as he is..he holds a lot of stock in the power of personal charisma ..despite exhibiting little..oh its all there..except it only comes out online ..he has an ongoing struggle between solipsism and scepticism and yet curiously, he believes in a soulmate..’

‘What of his intensities?’ asks the actor as the writer sips at his merlot…’aah..’ says the writer..’his particular intensity..that is his most contrived intensity..is his belief in the uniqueness of his personal vision..ask him what this in fact is and he would obfuscate..as if unsure anyone could be trusted with such priceless intellectual property..when in reality he doesn’t really have one..hasn’t even bothered fabricating one’…at this point their meals arrive..though they keep at it.
‘He’s an absolute sucker for any kind of friendliness or charm…tho’ conversely he flares up at any hint of being patronised…you see -its as if he see’s that as his special privilege alone..politically he’s extremely superficial ..the complete populist..always wanting to be seen to be saying the best possible thing at the best possible time..shallow..but a seasoned social survivor..insofar as religon is concerned..it is just the same..he keeps fish..tho’ never bothered to name them..his thoughtforms are more his favoutite pets..and well..needless to say his favourite hobby is other peoples lives.’

‘How about his tastes and whatnot?…’ the actor asks narrowing his focus..’Hmmm..in my mind..I always kind of saw him shopping at hipster dufous…drives one of those little bubble cars..collects really weird old suits ..loves hats..listens to jazz and movie soundtracks  ..loves to hang out in trendy or bohemian coffee shops..often loiters around that part of town where all the seconds and cheap womens clothing shops are…for the chicks …drinks at jazz clubs cos’ someone told him divorcee’s go there to get laid…he’s really quite naive, even for a psuedo-intellectual..sort of a child in a way ..sometimes shuts himself in a cupboard to gather his thoughts…any dream but a directed one seriously disturbs him..which explains his expertise with them..like a lot of people he is certain he is destined for something significant   ..and tries to look the part..you will see him often near fountains   ..adopting either a poetic or philosophical expression   ..in fact he rehearses a small suite of expressions almost daily ..of his mannerisms ..such as they are..most are contrived ..lifted from key performances ..and purely contextual..as he likes character driven stories ..publically his posture is as affected..very classic..very noble   ..yet alone in his own home he sprawls about..the master of his own myth..he is in reality ..constantly in a kind of a state of confusion   ..repressed or submerged confusion..shut away somewhere so his ‘tactical persona‘ can call the shots..this nebulous state of certainty/uncertainty has underpinned all of his choices and reactions for most of his adult life..he is in a sense..half asleep at the wheel..and remains this way until he actually cares for something which is genuinely at stake’..the writer has obviously concluded ..the actor switches off the recorder ..saying nothing..mulling things over.

©Gregory David Andrews 2008