the analyst

a kitchen ..somewhat of a well ordered hovel ..a short spry young man fries tofu in a small pan on an ancient gas stove ..arranging the pieces into a quincunx after methodically turning them in exactly the same way ..a small television on a bench is silently showing cartoons ..the colour tint all wrong ..he is talking to himself ..as well as uttering directions into a full length mirror ..his suit is a little large for his small frame ..and a decade out of fashion ..he approaches the mirror peering disdainly over his wire frame glasses

” extreme close up ..whatcha got there honey! ..hhmmm ..did you write this? ..[aggressively] ..did you write this? ..huh ..huh! ..swishpan ..oh there’s a problem all right ..who do I think I am? ..huh ..well I do this for a living  ..fool  ..yeah  ..yeah  ..I did a ten week course sister ..cost me nine hundred bucks  ..yeah ..yeah ..do you know how much they pay me to do this shit?  ..huh ..seventy bucks a script ..shazam! ..and another one bites the dust! ..yeah baby ..from page to screen I can knock off three a day ..I am the gatekeeper kapiche ..matchcut ..from laptop to cowboyshot ..[quickdraws a yo-yo]   ..longshot”

[walking the dog as he moonwalks back to the stove] ..he carries the pan over to the table and loads the tofu next to the salad on his plate ..he spends quite some time arranging the food to his satisfaction ..then after taking his ADHD medication ..he commences to eat

[calmy] “..white space ..see ..white space ..you got too much goin’ on here ..look at this ..[holding up a napkin] ..there’s way too much text here ..look honey ..I got a short attention span ..all these words are makin me claustrophobic see  ..you’re defying the architechtonics of our template ..you’re pressin’ buttons I didn’t even know I had ..them studio execs ..they all got the same buttons as me ..get it ..thats how come I got this gig ..understand me ..and you understand them ..whats my gig? ..[evil laughter] ..whats my gig? ..martini shot!  ..contrazoom! ..[thousand yard stare] ..I’m a story analyst ..”

Holiday

Holiday

flying ..it only seems real when I’m sitting in the cockpit ..we’re in first class so I don’t really care ..getting it all down for posterity on my handycam ..oblivious to the cascade of conversations swirling around me
..our group has won a 10 day snowboarding holiday ..courtesy of some wacked out cable TV show ..I’m gettin’ used to the tripped out hand that life deals to people like me ever since I took over the Freak Outreach Center after ‘Louie the flame’ had his burnout ..I’m not a health professional or anything like that ..only have a diploma of applied paragnosis ..I do it for the laughs really -besides some patients are just too funny to cure ..our motto is ‘deviance is the new normal’ ..and to tell the truth I feel quite at home with these folks now ..we only use nicknames -given like a badge of honour if you somehow manage to fit in
..Golden ears is our resident ecouteurist -never been the same since that time he disguised himself as a tree to spy on some feral wiccans in the wild …some of them turned out to be dendrophiles ..on his left is Houdini ..yeah the one looking over his shoulder ..with a smile on his face ..can’t hold down a steady job or relationship ..just can’t commit ..-phygephilia ..that couple over there ..Heckle and Jeckle ..touchy and insensitive ..she’s often really crass and arrogant and sometimes he’s just a nasty bitch ..gender dysphoria ..over there is Cyrano ..he’s into erotographomania as well as erotomania ..the first thing he ever said to me was ‘don’t look at me ..I’m hideous’ ..the hottie by the window is Messalina ..one of a kind ..she’s into zelophilia as well as dacrophilia ..not to mention timophilia … on my left is Coochie Coo ..she has a thing for knismolagnia ..what can I say ..she’s lotsa fun and makes me laugh ..across the aisle over there is Manga ..yeah you guessed it ..oculophilia ..and beside him is the very mystical Madame Blavatsky ..she likes dreamin’ and …well …psycholagny actually ..on her left is Hollywood ..yeah -with the tinfoil beret ..the life of the party ..got a little thing goin’ on with castophrenia ..but we won’t hold that against him ..well thats it for now ..can’t really say too much on the fly like this ..besides one can’t afford to be too equivocal ’round these sorta folks ..

Glossary

castophrenia: belief that ones thoughts are being stolen

dacrophilia: arousal from crying

dendrophilia: arousal from trees or tree worship

ecouteurism: arousal from eavesdropping sexual activities

erotographomania: arousal from writing love letters or poems

erotomania: arousal from an uninterested person or stranger

gender dysphoria: behaviour matching the opposite sex

knismolagnia: sexual arousal or gratification from tickling or being tickled

oculophilia: arousal from eyes

paragnosis: skill in matters immune to scientific investigation

phygephilia: arousal from being a fugitive

psycholagny: ability to achieve orgasm without physical stimulus

timophilia: arousal from money or wealth

zelophilia: arousal from jealousy

©Gregory Andrews 2009

you have the right to remain silent

[detective]   ‘you have the right to remain silent ..anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law ..you have the right to an attorney present during questioning ..if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for you  ..do you understand these rights?’

[suspect] ‘well shit detective ..how much thought have you given them?’

[detective] ‘looks like we got a wise guy here ..I’d advise you not to get to cute ..understand?’

[suspect] ..just get me my attorney and we’ll do lunch ..big guy’

[40 minutes later he is joined by his attorney and the interview proceeds]

[suspect] ‘mind if I take notes?’ [ writing something on the first page of his notepad]

[detective] ‘I’d like to ask you some questions regarding your activities last night’

[suspect] ‘I may respond to some of your questions’ [..in a concilliatory tone]

[detective] ‘look this is a slam dunk ..we’ve got you at the scene of the crime ..we got the murder weapon ..why’d ya do it?’

[suspect] ‘you’ve asked me a direct question ..naturally you’re expecting a response but if I remained silent it wouldn’t be very pretty ..this is the politicization of silence ..if I don’t respond instantly it is taken to be an admission of guilt as a lack of denial ..in fact it would be even worse if I actually denied it later ..a non-adjacent denial ..not the preferred response ..its a basic little rule of conversation analysis ..all conversations have been found to be made up of little rules ..it involves the concept of turns otherwise known as adjacency pair structures  ..your initiation of it is called the first pair part ..my response or turn ..would be known as the second pair part   ..your strategy seeks to turn an act of voluntary co-operation into involuntary compliance ..good luck with that’

[detective] ‘you’re a pretty sharp dude ..evading my questions ..seems suspicious ..got something to hide?’

[suspect] [writing something on the second page of his notepad] ‘well ..you are paid to be vexatious with you’re reasoning..arent you?..just like a lawyer [winking at his lawyer] ..in my case ..its all for free’ [smiling]

[detective] ‘we know you’ve been harassing his informants ‘

[suspect] ‘look ..if I asked you a question ..you’d only play ball insofar as your second pair part was only some kind of clarifying response ..otherwise ..you’d fail to offer an adjacent response ..now.. you’re  misinterpreting  something I did or said or didn’t say ..in fact you’ve been trained to ..the preferred response here is for me to ‘let it go’ ..yet if I wish to clarify it at any later stage not only does it look worse ..sorta like I’m changing my story..it also falls outside the framework of your rule-set ..meaning you’re likely to respond with a disjunctive shift’

[detective] ‘you think this is some kind of a game ..a fucking joke ..smartass?’

[suspect] [holding up the first note taken earlier ..it reads 'you think this is some kind of a joke?']

[detective] ‘you just don’t give a fuck do ya [leaning in close ..menacingly] ..listen professor ..I ain’t got time for this ..I got a dead undercover cop ..a family of seven that needs some answers ..and a bunch of cops out there ready to play hardball ..understand?’

[suspect] [holds up the second page ..it reads 'this is where you probably make some sort of sarcastic ad hominem ..possibly even insinuating a lack of basic humanity ..possibly even a thinly veiled threat' ..he screws up both pages into a tight little bundle and tosses them into the waste basket] ‘..you might want to get the fingerprints off that ..are we done here?’ [looking at his attorney]

[attorney] [on their way out] ‘you don’t like cops much ..do you?’ [a half smile]

[suspect] ‘I don’t have a problem with cops ..just some of their rule-sets’

the consultation

Opus

her 3 o’clock was waiting ..quickly changing from her pant suit into a silk top ..sheer stockings and micro skirt then positioning her chair just so near the couch she opens the door and ushers him inside   ..her favourite client ..he shuffles in ..unkempt and slightly disturbed ..he tells her he had the weirdest dream -something like a movie and would like her thoughts on it ..younger than her she liked everything about him except his argot ..she gestures toward the couch with a reassuring smile

‘it all starts out like I’m this journo dude ..for years and years the city’s been terrorised by ..like this serial killer ..we call him the The Happy Cat Killer ‘cos he always draws like a Felix the cat face at every crime scene ..naturally there’s like loads of copycat killers ..known locally as Leotards ..but this dude is real clever right ..sure the public know that every seventh victim is positioned theatrically alongside the composite assembly of trophies taken from the previous victims ..but what they don’t know is that the dude always stuffs some sheet music he wrote in every victims mouth ..thats how the cops know he’s the Happy Cat Killer ..see ..so I know this cop she’s not real cute and don’t get out much ..I play her right ..just to get the guff on the investigation ..thats how I know ..anyways you know how I went to the conservatorium n’shit right ..so I gets her to copy the manuscripts so I can study ‘em right ..thats when I discover that whoever wrote it took particular care over the Viola da gamba parts ..just beautiful ..I mean only a virtuoso could play stuff like that ..so I take a punt that Happy Cat is a Viola player …meanwhile he’s killin’ peeps and firin’ off sarcastic letters to the mainstream press all about how freakin’ dumb the cops are ..tauntin’ em n’stuff noamsayin ..I’m researchin every viola player in town ..till I come upon this one virtuoso that only ever recorded stuff ..was a complete enigma ..no-one even knew what he looked like ..so he like just disapeared from the scene years ago ..I track him down ..no sign of the dude ..then I get a phone call ..its him ..he asks me to meet him in an underground carpark knowing that I ain’t gonna tell the cops ‘cos it’s my big break right ..so I’m there waiting ..in the frikkin dark ..an I can tell you I’m so scared I’m already tryin’ to wake up ..suddenly the place is flooded with light I can barely see ..then there’s this shadow ..his shadow ..like he’s some kind of freakin’ giant in a cloak and cowl..his voice is dark ..he calls me by name and talks all about stuff I thought nobody knew about me ..I’m so offended ..insulted that I rush toward the light and stumble over this freakin dwarf in a cape standin on a chair ..he pulls a gun on me and I know I’m for it ‘cept these like Israeli security dudes ..who I’ve already told you about ..waste the guy right there ..and then the next thing I know I’m stumblin around the university in some kind of stupor ..can’t remember anything but my name and I’m asking these dudes where Meridian House is ‘cos all I’ve got on me is this key with a tag and a room number to the place and they’re laughin’ at me sayin shit like ‘hahah ..dude ..you’re out there man ..you’ve been cut up’ ..so they take me to this cafe called the ‘Babe cafe’ ..where this squirly old chick serves us coffee at like 3.30 in the mornin ..and all through this dream there’s this like song goin’ on ..acoustic guitar with this really sorta cynical feral voice ..really deep ..singin’ stuff like

‘fell through the sky ..winged from a lie
walked down wet streets ..no shoes on my feets
drunk as a skunk ..’least thats what I thunk
for every good thing I done a bad thing
where is my son ..whats he done with my gun’

just when I’m thinkin ..where’s the freakin’ chorus ..the tenor kicks in ..some Irish dude who suddenly goes all alto on their asses ..and I’m like ‘nooooo!’ ..so these dudes finally take me to my room ..and its really weird ..the floor is like so spongy I’m up to my ankles in carpet ..and there’s no TV ..so I go out to the common area ..and theres my TV with my room number on it ..and some grungy dude watchin the other one ..and I’m all like ‘is that my TV?’ ..and he’s like ’sure ..it’s been here for ages’ ..so to start up a converstion I say ‘I’m here for the infrastructure ..how about you?’ ..and he goes ‘I’m studyin’ sportscastin’ ..real mumbly like he’s embarrased about it ..so I take the TV back to my room and take a powernap ..and then I woke up’

His psychiatrist seems puzzled ..looking at her watch she says ..’look ..we’ve run way past time ..but we can continue this later if you’d like ..wanna catch a movie?’

©Gregory David Andrews 2009

flickertease

Swift Metempsychosis

A young man on his way home after a heavy night of serious drinking falls asleep behind some topiary near the footpath ..he is awoken to hear a racist and crazed tirade being uttered by a very nasty and disturbed woman who then lays a malicious curse upon his people ..unaware that she has been overheard by an extremely vicious revenant warlock in his 78th incarnation

[I'm thinking Toby MacGuire would be cool as the warlock]

A Princely thing

A struggling actor finally achieves staggering success in his first major role and is catapulted to stardom ..having concealed a violent and murderous past as a cage fighter  ..after watching the girl of his dreams being slowly destroyed by paparrazi he tips off his victims with exclusive scoops regarding his ‘whereabouts’ …and one by one collects increasingly gruesome trophies

[this would be really cool if it had Mickey Rourke or Woody Harrelson playing the lead]

The Associationists

Party Animals
When archrivals learn that they were twins in a past life ..they set about seducing each others electorate.

South of the border
An unsuspecting wizard is run out of town by a violently angry group of women when they learn he has come to undo an enchantment that left their menfolk speechless.

The Associationists
A mans sense of self worth becomes enhanced every time he associates himself as added value to an enterprise ..he becomes so intoxicated that he makes annual pilgrimages to himself.

The Tutor
A sneak thief having gained entry to a secluded mansion discovers it to be completely empty apart for an ancient old man asleep in a vintage wheelchair ..the old man crumbles to ashes after the thief steals his watch ..when he puts it on he is suddenly transformed into an ancient old man ..too feeble to remove his watch

Cthulish dreams
The day to day serenity of a Kraken is reduced to chaos when one by one her tentacles develop minds of their own.

Rock Star Support Group

of course by this time they were all quite familiar with each others trauma ..they met as often as they could ..quite an achievement really ..considering some of them were still getting gigs ..most of them tho’ were content with their philanthropic works ..it made a lot of sense to give something back ..took some of the pain away ..Suedefish was the first to arrive ..he just sat there playing that lick from ‘belly button window’ on his Obamacaster® ..waiting for the others ..they met at Frothingtons ..in a teak panelled room sporting an enormous fireplace ..persian carpets ..ageless furniture ..cigar smoke hung about the place ..now and then the tinkling of glass on glass ..a pretty cellist barely audible over by the waterfall ..by 5pm they’d all arrived …sitting as close to the fireplace as comfort would permit ..as usual it started with them all catching up on each others activities ..this time Slick Velour ex frontman from Glimmering Authority spoke of his charitable foundation ..’The School for Ugly Children’ ..seeking and recieving support and validation ..first to start the session was CC Foxdazzle of Hickjacket ..he spoke of his ongoing addiction with powdery or shiny things ..how he’d come a long way since last time but still had a ways to go ..one after the other they spoke of their personal hardships and as usual DiamondTexta just sat there ..as if in shadows ..saying nothing ..not joining in ..Suedefish finally has a crack at him ..’Diamond you’ve said nothing again ..seriously dude ..why do you even bother coming man..we’ve all had the guts and good graces to open up to each other..’ ..now the others are all starting in on him ..despair and frustration clouding his visage until MC Juan Afterelle sofly asks him ..’you know ..now ..don’t you ..c’mon Diamond ..we’re here for you man’.. Diamond is now nodding ..gesturing with his hands ..’enough already ..ok ..ok ..its hard for me dudes ..but yeah ..I think I’ve made a breakthrough..’ ..he lays his hands helplessy in his lap ..keeping his eyes low ..’..you know they said I’d never do another album like ‘Quintessential Salmon Elevator’ ..and it’s true man ..I’ve been struggling ..like I lost my mojo or something ..its like I’m always travelling and never getting anywhere’ ..he wipes at a shy tear ..’..so I tried to take a good look at myself ..and ..[more tears] ..I learned something that ..I dunno .. I guess I should have known all along’ ..he leaves them there ..hanging on a thread ..they erupt again ..calling for him to get it off his chest ..’ …ok ..ok’ ..he is close to hyperventilating ..’..last night ..sitting there trying to write ..looking at what I was trying to do .. I realised ..oh man this is tough .. I realised I’ve always wished I was ..Joe Strummer’ now the tears are flowing freely ..silently ..next to him Suedefish leans in ..drawing him into a hug ..Diamond grimaces, his eyes squintly little stars, as that first ..always silent cry heralds a bout of whimpering’ …suddenly MC Juan Afterelle is crying too ..openly ..shamelessly  ..sobbing ‘ ..aaw..Diamond..dude …                 ..I wish you were Joe Strummer too’

…tell the other Directors what you saw

time out was called ..swatting at yet another mosquito, skip said something to the male lead ..they both disappeared into his trailer ..everyone else went to lunch with the real stars …the caterers ..inside the van Mr filmstar was being dressed down ..skip had left the air con on ..they’d cracked a six pack ..’your delivery of key lines is shearing towards the wooden’ ..the actor asks for an example ..’the line ..whoah ..I just divided 60 by 1.32 and got 45.45454545 etcetera,  I feel like Pythagoras dude ..what are the chances of that?’ ..the actor interjects ..’ aaw c’mon man ..I put a lot of emphasis there’ ..’yeah’ says skip ..’the wrong kind of emphasis ..the punter needs to know that not only does this guy love numbers ..they love him’ ..the actor is laughing now ‘..c’mon  ..dude ..eheh ..who sez shit like that anyhow ..eheh ..and what’s he doing in the freakin jungle anyway?’   ..skip is already into his second beer ..’right ..this is how it’s gonna be ..think rgb ..red green blue   ..red is toned by anger or …decisiveness ..green is toned by passion ..obsession ..madness ..blue is toned with despair  ..angst ..regret ..you got that? ..we’re gonna shoot everything 3 times ..in red ..green ..blue ..are you up with that?’ ..the actor is stunned ..silent for a pause ..breaking into a grin, saying ..’I like it’

eight weeks later ..an extraordinary parallax of coincidences ocurred.. if you were lucky enough to observe their simultaneity ..during post production ..skip was over the moon ..’there’s enough here for two good movies at least’ ..dollar signs in his smiling eye’s

in the merry month of …meh

…cruelly infiltrated
surreptitiously slipped silken..
positioned precisely
..one alone
waiting
inscrutable master of a soft tower
50  futons high
apple of a ninja’s eye
eh heh heh heh
in the merry month of …meh
even in her dreams
scheming with whispers of night
sleeping smugly
…snugly
in deep cover of quiet
embedded in burdens soft increase
no stranger to her dreams of sweeter peas

broken pipe

Portrait of Christian Bale and Michael Phelps

Uncanny ain’t it ..that the kind of thing that set Christian Bale off happened at all on one of the most major productions of that year ..it must be the bane of any top level actor to have to deal with such things when almost everyone on set knows that an actors ideal is to nail a performance in one take ..-if they can..it should be everyones ideal ..tho’ I’m surprised he didn’t just take 20 minutes off to chill.. reminding everyone that the longer it takes the more it’s going to cost   ..soooo while I’m here I may as well hold forth on the topic of Michael Phelps …who seems to be enjoying almost universal support for his faux pas ..he can have mine too …just don’t bogart that joint dude ..seriously ..the outraged should consider the kind of money involved when one adds the potential taxable revenue from legalising the ‘erb to the combined costs of policing it as well as court costs as well as corrective services costs..but hey ..it’s not like the governments of this world are having money problems right?

Performance enhancing? …c’moooon …have a cantaloupe    ..the guy is clean..get over it  – must be the unhappy Stepford wives with ‘role model’ expectations that are the most disappointed ..as for sponsorship repercussions ..tell me it isn’t like he just massively broadened his appeal ..I was actually going to quickly pen a little vignette featuring Phelps and Bale onset together …acting …-playing a pair of plumbers …repairing a pipe … they take a short bong break ..and Phelps breaks the bong ..naturally Bale goes ballistic ..bringing Phelps to tears ..but this is not enough for the cruel Bale ..whom has already sent ..by mobile ..a photo of Phelps bonging ..to their boss …then I thought ..no ..let them work it out between themselves …the bastards

on writing

Recently on the web there were numerous articles and exhibitions revolving around the writers workspace ..generally featuring desks and studies etc ..my apartment has an open plan ground floor …comprising the lounge and kitchen …it is the largest space in my home …it also has the new aircon.. I like to keep a clean desk ..I like to see space on it …which is why I love my wacom bamboo 6×9 pen tablet …its usually all that I use ..being able to put aside the cordless mouse and keypad ..I have 2 pc’s both connected to the same 22 inch LCD monitor ..one is always online ..the other almost never ..they are not networked ..at the moment I also use 4 notebooks ..red …green and yellow ..as well as another that is folio size ..sometimes I construct the work in notepad form before typing in to my offline pc ..using XP’s onscreen keyboard ..to undergo further rewriting ..otherwise it’s direct into my offline pc …oh, ocaissionally I write directly into the text editor of this blog ..usually when I’ve been drinking ..there are also numerous works commited only to memory itself ..because .. I’m like that ..I can write anywhere ..pretty much under almost any conditions ..so on ocaission I may be found writing in a bar ..tucked away in a booth somewhere ..just not so much these days ..

I sometimes work rewriting older ..more romantic pieces I wrote in my 20’s ..I am almost always listening to music when I write ..notably 181 classical guitar ..groovera ..secret agent lounge  ..Datempo lounge [all online] ..I often give voice to my writing by performing it as I’m writing it ..with little regard for what my neighbours might think ..I particularly enjoy fabricating convincing cathartic outbursts as a kind of hoax episode ..one never knows when one is being profiled and it’s always fun to flag soft spots of irresistable sensitivity for future reference ..you know …games people play and suchlike ..it’s also a way of adding something like drama to my fairly undramatic life ..I like humour and romance ..though I find it difficult to write about romance [as realities beyond ideals] when I’m not amorously connected to anyone ..this is why I enjoy rewriting my own accounts of love since lost ..I use Verse perfect …rhymezone ..and even mobysaurus ..as well as an old Oxford concise that has utterly deteriorated into something like a loose leaf heap of grubby neglect

D.O.A.

it was wrong…
…all so very wrong
inexplicably agitated ..unsettled
his scopic drive… subverted
oversaturated by red shifts
looking for something
…somehow not there
no longer a spectator
..yet somehow not an actor
no more superfluous jouissance in the mirror
a very real feeling of destiny
transformed into a looked at being
revisited by lost involvement
weak from ennui
he could take it no more
barely able to walk
he stumbles down dark streets of despair
faltering ..falling
seeking the expertise of only one man

…the masterful Dr Lacan

incredibly …against all pleasure
he finds him in his shabby clinic
begging him to run some tests
a specialist in metynomy
he is obliged to acquiesce

..he waits
not daring to hope
anxiety in his shallow breath

Dr Lacan returns
it is not good
.. he seems grim
surprised

“how bad is it …doc?”
suddenly so pale

“its liminal poisoning “
such sympathy in his voice

“give it to me straight ..doc ..how long have I got?”

aliens know

If there’s one thing that characterises my childhood it would have to be books..my father is still a bibliophile and had a substantial science fiction collection when I was a 5 yo…I especially liked them as they had trippy cover illustrations that appealed to my fertile imagination ..I can recall being called in from the yard one fine day in 1969..my Mother thought I should see the delayed telecast of the first moon landing..I was surprised to learn that man had never been there till then..I guess I had a lot to learn..it seemed more scientific to me than anything else…my reading patterns quickly developed their own predispositions..I was already somewhat of a purist with regards to literature by the time I was 12 and regarded most science fiction as little more than pulp fiction..it amazes me to think on how many of such works some SF buffs may have read by the time they are like 80 or something..thinking on this..just this morning..I wondered how many stories this or that novelist or scriptwriter or film maker has read..how certain they may or may not be when they assume they are dealing with an original concept or treatment..what qualities determine their expertise etc..it seems futile to speculate when so many science fiction fans are more than happy to see/read multiple tellings of the same story..variations on the same theme etc..I’m wondering if they ever get around to factoring in the possibility that some of the viewers/readers have that level of familiarity with the genre or if they even care..

heh..tho’ I must say at this point..that if some of those people have moved on from the genre because they feel that their special needs are no longer being adequately catered to..then someone may very well have done them a favour.. :]

poor little match girl

Trust in the tale
A drunken and delinquent angel takes an already disturbed matchgirl on a tour of Hades.

Misery cuts
A malignant narcissist..gainfully employed by a popular webnews site..struggles to keep a clear boundary between her online cover story and her real identity when she falls for a celebrity psychiatrist

Clownshop 9
Natural comedy is on the verge of disappearing after a new style unique to ‘Clownshop 9′ -the industry standard in visual gag software.. becomes increasingly ubiquitous

Heart for love
After 6 years of abstinence a shaman finds his spirit finally returned to an adolescent state where he is vulnerable enough to love again.. through a series of almost perfect liaisons he learns he is not so vulnerable that he can love anyone other than his soulmate.

Spinal Draft

Spinal Draft
An elite team of crack scriptwriters are selected to beta test some 7th generation scriptwriting software in a reality TV contest filmed at a luxurious eco-resort in Oz..a Russian military satellite has crashed nearby..leaking stem cells into the environment..Koala’s mutate into crazed vampire like beings that drop from the tree’s with a taste for human spinal fluid..plot points ramped up to..eleven.

Goodness Thief
A holy man is welcomed into a busy country town..people begin to change as they become familiar with his ways..until it seems they are being sapped of all their goodness and mercy..they turn on him and martyr him in the belief that they will be restored to their former selves

The Embarrassment
Creative and healthy …capable and talented..Joost is the constant victim of the wrath of envy..doomed to be endlessly *cured* by sick people..just to make them feel better.

Jump cut

Just discovered an excellent film journal  – Jumpcut…while following up on Metz’ cinesemiotics…and an essay that kind of relates to my previous post and elements of the raison d’etre of  Shadowloop.

Here are two extracts:

“The multiple voices (codes)in the texts end in a superior voice, a singular voice which finally silences all other voices. That voice is no less than the voice of the subject-author fully constituted by the singular unique textual system. In that sense the dominant code “speaks” as the code of unique individual expression and creativity. The text literally constructs a transcendental subject as the source of the text. To whom does it speak? It speaks to me, the reader-subject. It establishes a social exchange, a communication of meaning between subjects, author and reader, or more precisely, producer and end consumer. The text has become complete, replete, in short, a product. The textual system becomes the expression of the author. The unique expression of the author is the unique textual system.”

“The cinesemiotics of Christian Metz marks a crucial beginning for a critical semiotics of the cinema. The gaps, the contradictions in his writings point to the necessity for a genuine return to the text, not as site of finalization, as ultimate goal, but as opening, initiation, commencement into an infinitude of difference, play and pleasure.”

Metz and film semiotics:  opening the field  -Sam Rohdie
from Jump Cut, no. 7, 1975, pp. 22-24  ©Jump Cut: A Review of Contemporary Media, 1975, 2004

Jumpcut

Laboratory zen

My interest in drama and film is purely amateur..almost a year ago..being between jobs..I decided to study film.. I had already done some indie acting when I was young and smoldering and still practice it purely because it improves the choreography of pen, paper and voice ..being a research expert meant I could design my own curriculum …which was the whole point…my interest in film was twofold ..mainly to add more dimension to my writing…also in an effort to understand contemporary drama..After not watching tv for..like forever… I had just ponied up for a HDTV USB device..which worked really well..it was just a shame about the content is all..[pawned it after 10 days]..I also needed to amuse myself beyond select DVDs..I go through cycles with my reading…and haven’t been reading fiction since 2001 or something …tho’  I am a voracious reader still.. I rarely even read poetry anymore …just the facts thanx…oh and sorry, but I don’t care who wins the Booker, Pulitzer or Nobel prize… never did …probably never will and won’t ever read anyone on account of them either …anyway after another bullshit job in Mediocrutopia..I find myself between enslavement’s and in the second phase of a pointless learning curve..[I thought I should 'fess up to this to the 5 or 6 people who on ocaission visit this blog..-which is more of an online collation of unorthodox notes on non-existent curiosities of drama and film than a choice selection of biographical moments]…

I started out by stormin’ up loglines -300 in 3 weeks..I love a challenge..it was a wholly worthwhile and instructive process.. I learned that insofar as developing a compelling idea is concerned originality should probably start right there…and that it is not as easy as it at first seems..[even if you have been writing poetry for just under 30 years...]
Then of course there is so much fun to be had dabbling with plot structures.. I tend to consider it a kind of primary math meant to map dynamics of event via an algebra of character

Film and to a lesser extent, drama…also interests me as a visual artist… -something I’ve been doing longer than writing.. but it is the same appeal..the same mystery..the same challenge.. a visible syntax .. a narrative stripped of language… a transequential montage of symbology..universal transitions in plasticities of consciousness..the hybrid realities of personal iconography…the work of film theorists such as Mitry and Metz..have an interdisciplinary appeal that speaks for a structural order that wrestles with the urge to remain silent..

Poetic licence

A country manor…a harpsichord is playing…diverse small birds flit about a great hall..wine is being served…an artist is sketching some actors ..others pace about practicing their lines..dwarfs on stilts tilt at each other, rehearsing pratfalls, several poets are swapping couplets while a beautiful woman cradles her lover on a lounge..over near the lovers a fool plays the lute…eyes full of tears…softly whimpering as they neck like swans..the lover raises his head from her shoulder for a moment to say…

[Darkertower]

…be generous boy

…my love has lost track of my style
searches with sparkles strung trembling by smile
all composure outwritten by a prettier quill
and still…
…it’s all there

the luckiest look to see in her eyes
for just a moment more
breathing kisses to adore
a mouthful of rapport
…willowed in affections

I fear

…have me fainting here

his lipstick smeared face is again smothered in murmuring kisses as the boy plays on…until their pleasures are interrupted by an exuberant bard who gathers them all together to speak

[Spillforth]

I have just madly dashed by coach from Hushminster to bring you the best of news in the greatest haste..Prince Rufus has issued us with his royal licence…

[he commences to read an from an elaborately penned document]

Rufus I… by earthly graces and natural dominion etcetera… To all our ministers, Mayors, Constables and other of our officers of might or motion ..loving subjects. Know ye that we of our facility fond and worthy, exceptional humilities and mere merit, have licenced and authorized and by these flourishes do license and endow these our subjects; William Spillforth, Gregorio Darkertower, Bunter Toffin, Simon Pond, Kit Marley, Orlando D’angelillio, Winston Weston, Amadeus Strange, Chesterfield Defoe, Scarlett Hepburn, Constance Chatterley, Fanny Swift, Miriam Columbine and all others associated with their labors, freely to study, teach, practice, produce, perform and compose; comedies, histories, harlequinnades, grotesques, tragedies, masques, mysteries, pranks, shenanigans, foolery, japes, romances, bungles and pratfalls to shew or otherwise exhibit, to the utmost of their considerable talents, imagination, learning, wisdom, flair and finesse within a purpose built house henceforth known as Darling House and to be funded from the public purse..as also in setting forth about the ale-houses, taverns, inns or any other convenient places such as town halls, universities or cathedrals within the liberties of our free dominion and having our special dispensation of theatrical immunity so that they may refine their art with clear conscience…..witnessed ourself at Hushminster…this 23rd day of May…

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

looking up Goethe

In the round
While traveling abroad a sculptor discovers a 400 year old oil painting in an obscure provincial gallery to be identical to a bozetto he is currently working on.

The gatekeepers
A community of spirits that failed to accept their ‘inner child’ haunt an enchanted dream bridge they are unable to cross..

Fatima falls in love
A pedophile cardinal converts to Islam only to discover his secret online arabian boy lover is in fact an al queda agent named Fatima.

Sikh cooking
After decades of fruitless searching an archeologist finally unearths the fabled glass onion..said to reveal all the world in its transparency.

The little people
Anxious to exhibit to his foreign counterparts his Machiavellian decisiveness a ruthless statesman boasts that his psy-ops people  will ‘turn’ a well known atheist  dissident into  a devout Muslim…

the exile

It is a place of utter neglect…a shabby trailer bristling with aerials moored alongside a rambling shanty part consumed by ivy…a half dozen lazy cats lolling about on discarded car tyres…numerous car wrecks litter the yard…ham radio traffic from inside the van peppers the silence between passing trains..a chopper lands..a group of smartly dressed people hit the ground running..while numerous bodyguards stalk the grounds..two men and a woman gather at the trailer ..rapping on the door…the radio is silenced…no response..

Lenny: c’mon …you know its us

Luciano: I don’t know you ..you’re dead to me

Pete: I gotcha a cappriciosa from Farferello’s

Luciano: slide it through the catflap ..

[all six cats then sprint through the catflap]

Julie: Arty says hi…

Lenny: c’mon.. open up buddy…we’re still from the same streets..we went to freakin school together..

Luciano: Julie could you tell Lenny that those days are over and that he should just move on?

Julie: how could you Lenny? [stifling a laugh]

Pete: Lurlene’s still asking after you..

Luciano’s face suddenly appears at the screen…..he is unkempt…eating pizza..cats meowing vociferously

Luciano: she still doin’ that navy pantomime?

Pete: uhuh…yeah

Julie watches impassively as a bodyguard is pursued by an amorous goat

Luciano: I always liked that girl

Lenny: c’mon Luciano…c’mon in from the cold man…we need you ….finish the script..show me you’re better than that..bygones dude

Luciano: you hurt me man …you hurt me really bad

Lenny: hey… you hurt me too …you didn’t consult me … I’m not just a businessman

Luciano: yeah …well look who bounced back..

Lenny: I haven’t forgotten a thing man…everything…its all still up here..you remember them days when we were like 13…we’d cut Wednesday afternoon sports to hang out up on the hill..at the old town reservoir..we’d lay there sunning ourselves in our shorts after a swim..sharing a smoke..looking at the clouds..laughing at all the schmucks back at school..sharing our dreams..do ya still dream, Lucky…huh..do ya? [wiping at real tears]

Luciano: I dreamed that friends don’t leave each other behind..Lenny..it was just a dream..and Lenny ..try it from here…[tapping his heart]

Lenny: c’mon Luciano…I’m like a junky here…you’re my pusher man..I’m addicted…no-one writes the gags like you do..just a skit…huh? I’m beggin you. Just a skit…

Luciano: if I do this thing for you.. Lenny.. you promise me ..no-one will ever know?

Lenny: aaw …hey …forgeddabardit…

Luciano: you come back next week… I’ll finish it.. now..geddoutta here … your breakin me up

Clipping into their seats as the chopper ascends they all look very pleased with themselves

Julie: nicely done Lenny

Pete: you think he knows about the residuals

Lenny: what residuals would they be Pete? …[laughing]

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

splash

The movie Gothic fairly intrigued me when I saw it in my early 20’s ..principally as a poet who had just read Don Juan..also due to the eccentricities of Polidori..who happened to be so uncannily like some of the ’special’ folks I was sharing digs with at the time that I was quite astounded and became suspicious that  certain pathologies were more ubiquitous than I’d assumed..over time I learned that those who present as dedicated to change..often never did or do..or that the change was merely a ceremonial lapse of self..a rite of passage only to come full circle..of those that do..not enough can be said of them..-this tho’..not being the place..how a ceremonial lapse of self can lead to real change seemed mysterious to me..as most examples I’d encountered really only signified shallow transformations..

I became interested then..in the notion of deep ceremonial transformation ..especially as a writer  who preferred his characters to be unique as well as convincing..it seemed especially necessary at that particular point as I found only a few people to be actually convincing in real life anyway..so I developed a personal science of prototyping fictitious identities by means of immersion..[ nothing to do with sensory deprivation or waterboarding ]..this involves expert research..real experience ..keen observation..a perceptual rather than judgmental mindset..and so on..one becomes keenly aware of complex factors never seriously noticed before..oscillating capacities of self..-their ability to see themselves clearly or coherently ..perceiving their own behaviors with varying acuity etcetera…

Interestingly enough..at 44 I no longer have a high regard for the works of Byron..

velvet forest

her dreams fused with such melancholy…

held in a hue of bottomless blue

a velvet forest…just passing through

…nothing she could do

a fluttering falling cry from the sky

raining wings of butterfly

…only a matter of time

before…she…you know…

[sniff]

…asks herself the obvious question

On consignment

Clueless drags himself into the diner at about 4.20 am..Lurlene pours him a cup..handing it to him..just giggling..’you don’t wanna know’   giving her that look..she’s already serving a spacetrucker  ..anyhow.. he takes a window booth..no-one gets tired of watching the nearby pulsar..Clueless sat there fidgeting ..trying to grasp some elusive train of thought or something..whispering into his player every now and then..’can’t believe my luck..I got a consignment of robots  ..one of them was some kind of hinky AI..it just sat there sulking like an unwanted marionette..just facial expressions and lots of eyework..I shut it down and ran a full diagnostic on its bioware  ..nothing..so I check the software ..almost totally reprogrammed  ..250000 thousand new words in its vocab..some kind of word association/ ident crapplet running the most demented set of personality configuration plugins I’ve ever seen ..most still enabled and in conflict with each other..it appears to have re-written its own programming and circumvented its data protection systems by wireless..after restoring the system..I asked the little guy ..no longer an AI..what he’d been doing to himself..he just gave me an idiot grin and said..’acting’.. but thats not all he’d been doing..he was working on a play’..[he reads from a scrap of paper]…

Bauhaus Masterscene: No more.
” It is twilight..drapes are fluttering pennant like..revealing another glorious sunset..marbling over the polished wooden floor.. martinis sit chilling on steel and glass.. Leonora is liberally spreading pate on ciabatta.. Juan turns to her..saying callously…’oooh Leonora ..I can’t believe you went for corduroy on this lounge’..there is the startled shock in Leonora’s eyes ..the coldest of pauses.. the clatter of that knife on the floor…a flurry of sobbing footsteps..the slamming of a door.”

‘does he mind being taken back..no..sometimes tho’..I kinda get this feeling he’s scamming me’..

flowers for the game

a most interesting character..soo obstinate in some ways..so easygoing in all others..an atheist mystic of all things.. once..while we were making our way through busy afternoon streets..we were accosted by a group of evangelists..he shouted at them.. ‘get thee hence false prophets..I do not venerate the works of man..the victim thinks about God’..and he strode off.. fuming..-I had  to quite hoof it to catch up with the chap..he has no time for politics either..best summed up in his own words..’I know  you’re not up with the very latest developments in philosophy..so to give you a lil’ heads up..a code of ethics is not something that requires decryption’..he spoke further on his existential outlook by describing himself as a rogue ethologist living amongst a virtual community of artificial beings  ..playing a theatrical game he called Schizethica..one of the special characteristics of Schizethica is a free market approach to identity and intellectual property..yet no character is permitted to refer or otherwise allude to any other characters ’schiznicity

‘..that is to say.. those things that they may project as.. or ..believe to be ..constituting their substance.. usually assertions of ..race ..politics ..religion ..psychology ..philosophy ..intelligence or integrity

..Due to the implicit dynamic.. all of the players simultaneously find themselves at the lowest points of their character arcs..its also a world that is frequently hacked..complete with a rampant trojan that amplifies suspicion into hatred..hatred into obsession..until the game itself retaliates..

Silverlight Lantern

Unicorn Diaries
A gang of trolls reinvent themselves to get hired as erotic dancers in a trollettes only strip club. They conceal numerous cameras and orchestrate a lucrative blackmail sex tape racket until the clubs three owners, Psychepatra, Unaminerva, and Persepholilah wise up to their scam. In the midst of all this one of the trolls learns his brothers have been lying to him and that he is not a troll at all…

Vever
Already intrigued by the mysterious and charming 47year old ‘Wolfgang Vever’ -assigned to her as a convicted safe cracker, a young parole officer is amazed to learn that he was also an ’80’s porn star. Her curiosity leads to obsession as she begins collecting his films and losing her self control.

A Tragedy of Triumph
A secret family heirloom -an unknown folio of an unperformed work by Shakespeare is inherited by a journalist. Realising she is not clever enough to  pass the work off as her own, she swaps it for an apartment in Dubai.  Although an instant Bollywood hit, she is scandalised in the UK press and just when she thinks it can’t get any worse, she receives a ghostly visitor…

Acrolatte
Shipwrecked for 20 years, a monk, upon returning to his little city learns that he was presumed dead and posthumously canonised due to a series of miracles falsely attributed to him.  After abandoning the city in disgust he returns, posing as a sophisticated and urbane merchant who sells the very latest in beverages -”Acrolatte”, a name he gave to an unusual strain of coffee he cultivated on the island that, when prepared with hot vixens milk, causes an unconscious urge to speak freely..

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

Zombiethustra

This guy loves flowing cloaks, dark cloth, to be wrapt in gloom cosseted in misery, for him, every night..is a dark night of the soul for he completely lacks phenomenal consciousness, he knows his existence may be possible because it is conceivable ..and learnt this from his zombie intuition ..works as a property developer..has a hunch that the interior world is an elaborate illusion which he refers to as the zombie-matrix..shares his deepest secrets with his sleep therapist Really large eyes..thousand yard stares..he thinks with them and they often give what little there is..away.. a general stiffness in his cadence when he walks..can lurch from side to side when at speed..has difficulty running..not good with children..often recites Poe..has nightmares when anomalous elements of consciousness manifest.. he is sensitive enough to experience guilt/shame even when it is not due

..loves cats..a dedicated worker..keeps a tidy home..loves his wife Scyllastein very much ..he’s quite tall..very pale..and under that cloak he always appears to be wearing his best suit ..has lately taken to wearing inscrutably dark sunglasses..cannot remember his own birthday ..appears to be in his late thirties..tho’ he knows some seriously famous people he never mentions them..his usually expressionless face can sometimes reveal confusion or wonder    ..listens to trance..a regular visitor to the Drudge Report..also reads the Guardian
a keen interest in the trivial and the bizarre he is quite the allocentric
..believes in the dynamic emergence of total phenomenal unity..

©Gregory David Andrews 2008

The writer and the actor

Quite a stir ensued upon his arrival. Everyone recognised him as he was shown to the exclusive balcony setting, where an older fellow looked up from a menu. Having concluded formalities the older man, smiling..asks ’so..you’d like to know more about your part’ ..the actor smiles ‘everything is fine insofar as character arc and transformation within the script is concerned ..but I really want to nail this role…and I thought if I could get to the source…that is the author of the work the screenplay was adapted from..I might learn more about who he was when his adventure begins’ …he places a recorder on the table…

The writer grins, nodding sagely, his eyes closed …’well…he has a lot of intellectual arrogance..his parents were academics..in his case that meant distant and eccentric..sees himself as special and enlightened on account of it..he was left alone to his own devices as a child ..subsequently was often deemed to be too intense or even too mature by other children when he tried to make friends.. he later sought solace in this..and endeavoured to cultivate his intensities..he can be quite quirky…but never talks to himself..which is sort of why his work never amounts to much…he grows more and more accustomed to seeing himself as some sort of dark horse..or force of atonement.. he frequently attracts women..yet rarely scores because he usually wierds them out..or pisses them off’..the actor is chuckling now, saying ‘excellent …this is exactly what I need’…the writer goes on ‘ he makes a fair bit as a mid-level geek..and manages to save quite a bit..being as frugal as he is..he holds a lot of stock in the power of personal charisma ..despite exhibiting little..oh its all there..except it only comes out online ..he has an ongoing struggle between solipsism and scepticism and yet curiously, he believes in a soulmate..’

‘What of his intensities?’ asks the actor as the writer sips at his merlot…’aah..’ says the writer..’his particular intensity..that is his most contrived intensity..is his belief in the uniqueness of his personal vision..ask him what this in fact is and he would obfuscate..as if unsure anyone could be trusted with such priceless intellectual property..when in reality he doesn’t really have one..hasn’t even bothered fabricating one’…at this point their meals arrive..though they keep at it.
‘He’s an absolute sucker for any kind of friendliness or charm…tho’ conversely he flares up at any hint of being patronised…you see -its as if he see’s that as his special privilege alone..politically he’s extremely superficial ..the complete populist..always wanting to be seen to be saying the best possible thing at the best possible time..shallow..but a seasoned social survivor..insofar as religon is concerned..it is just the same..he keeps fish..tho’ never bothered to name them..his thoughtforms are more his favoutite pets..and well..needless to say his favourite hobby is other peoples lives.’

‘How about his tastes and whatnot?…’ the actor asks narrowing his focus..’Hmmm..in my mind..I always kind of saw him shopping at hipster dufous…drives one of those little bubble cars..collects really weird old suits ..loves hats..listens to jazz and movie soundtracks  ..loves to hang out in trendy or bohemian coffee shops..often loiters around that part of town where all the seconds and cheap womens clothing shops are…for the chicks …drinks at jazz clubs cos’ someone told him divorcee’s go there to get laid…he’s really quite naive, even for a psuedo-intellectual..sort of a child in a way ..sometimes shuts himself in a cupboard to gather his thoughts…any dream but a directed one seriously disturbs him..which explains his expertise with them..like a lot of people he is certain he is destined for something significant   ..and tries to look the part..you will see him often near fountains   ..adopting either a poetic or philosophical expression   ..in fact he rehearses a small suite of expressions almost daily ..of his mannerisms ..such as they are..most are contrived ..lifted from key performances ..and purely contextual..as he likes character driven stories ..publically his posture is as affected..very classic..very noble   ..yet alone in his own home he sprawls about..the master of his own myth..he is in reality ..constantly in a kind of a state of confusion   ..repressed or submerged confusion..shut away somewhere so his ‘tactical persona‘ can call the shots..this nebulous state of certainty/uncertainty has underpinned all of his choices and reactions for most of his adult life..he is in a sense..half asleep at the wheel..and remains this way until he actually cares for something which is genuinely at stake’..the writer has obviously concluded ..the actor switches off the recorder ..saying nothing..mulling things over.

©Gregory David Andrews 2008